It's finally February, and for some reason, it feels like January lasted a month longer than it should have with a little residual of 2019. I had this thought that when the ball dropped at 12am on New Years Eve, all of my problems were going to go away or seem less...exasperating. But no, I woke up, still living check to check, still feeling like I’m existing more than living, and it’s uncomfortable. Like when your underwear is a size too small uncomfortable. It’s then I realize that I need to be more proactive and be the change that I want to see in my life. So the big question is, how do I actively participate in this process?
After every frustration, I keep asking God “why does this keep happening!?” But as 3am rolls around and repetition falls from my mouth, it is then I realize I am asking the wrong question. “Why do I allow this to continue” is the proper questions that allows me to not only take accountability but take FULL control of how I want my life to unfold.
Sometimes it feels like a dream. And in that dream, I try to remain as silent as possible. I sit down, with my legs crossed, while sitting in the middle of the tornado, the storm of my life, while I watch my struggles and extremities become a world wind around me. And in that moment even though things are chaotic, I am still. It’s as if I can see and grab each stressor or worry out of the storm and place in my realm of calmness, and decide how it can be changed.
And most times it can be that simple. Take the things that stress you, piss you off, of cause any form of negativity and turn it into your calm. Your peace. Lately. God has been showing us that he is in control and when He wants us to return back to Him. Before I make my appearance to the Kingdom, I want to do my best to ensure that I’m making my life at peace and managing what flows in and out of it.
When I’m in the midst of all of my b.s., I’d be lying if I say I acted as I did in my dream every time. But the art of self evaluation is knowing when you’ve let situations delegate your next moves and or emotions. It’s taking me time but I know it’s something I know I will master. And most times all I really have to do is shut up and LISTEN. I tell you, most times, God and the universe tells me what I already need to know.
Here are some key take aways:
Some times we get ourselves into some mess that we had no business entering in the first place, or we had the power the completely avoid it. We’re prematurely setting ourselves up for a storm that's unnecessary. Put on your big girl panties, and take some accountability.
2. Be Still
If you want peace, embody it. Life can get crazy but that doesn’t mean we have to get crazy with it. You have more power in your words and your actions than you think. Grab that chaos and make it calm.
So whatever your storm is, the storm of depression, the storm of anxiety, the storm of the fear of the unknown, take the time to sit and center yourself. Listen to what God and the universe is telling you. Your steps are already ordered! And for the things in life we can’t control, don’t let them have control over you. Detaching yourself from the materialism, and the toxic detainment people try to have over you is half the battle. You got this. I'm rooting for you. You will always come out strong.